13:38 [fail]

/life and stuff

Those of you who know me well, all know how stubborn I can be. If I really want to do something – I will. Unfortunately the same applies for things I don’t want to do.

Right now, it seems that everything is going my way. I’m in Japan, for fucks sake. I’ve previously written about how lucky I’ve been to be able to do this; don’t get me wrong, I still feel that way, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given. However I’m starting to get that feeling of restlessness again. I know I have to do eight hours of work every day. I know I should be studying hard every evening. I know I’d feel a lot better if I put my heart and soul into this. But I can’t find the goddamn motivation right now. I want to travel, I want to meet new people, experience something new every day,  I want to have fun. 

All my life people have told me how much potential I have, and that I could achieve anything I put my mind to. I don’t mean to sound full of myself, but I have to agree. I do have a lot of potential and with my stubbornness, I could probably do anything I set out to do. The problem is that I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I have no goals. I have no ambitions. I just want to enjoy being alive.
Would a fancy degree from some random university make my life better? Would a respectable job and a high salary make me happy? I don’t think so. 

I envy those who truly know what they want in life - if in fact anybody does.

Until I figure out what my thing is, I’ll just keep living in the moment.

Cheerio!